This fundraiser has ended and cannot be donated to
This fundraiser has ended and cannot be donated to
Loch Ness Marathon for Oliver
Thank you so much all for your support and generosity. I successfully completed the marathon today in 4h30m35s.
I will be completing a personal Marathon on 11/10/2020 locally to coincide with Baby loss awareness week with a view to doing an organised one in 2021.
Oliver Robert Arthur Coombs
It was Tuesday evening and I was just finishing work for the day and about to go for a short run. Just as I was about to leave Sam my wife had phoned the doctors as she hadn’t felt the baby move all day. She went up to our local village hospital paulton and I stayed with Harry our other son and cooked tea. I’d just finished mine when she rang me, they couldn’t find a heartbeat.
We rang my mum to come and pick up Harry and packed everything up. We waited by the door and and as soon as she arrived we left for the RUH Bath.
When we arrived they had been waiting for us they had a scanner ready. The Dr had been moving the scanner around for a minute or two. She then said those dreaded words. I’m sorry. She showed us where the heart was and where it should have been beating.
After a bit of alone time with my wife they returned and explained our options. We went home and decided to return the next day. When I woke up the next day the realisation of what was going to happen had kicked in, I had woken up crying.
We got to the RUH and at the maternity ward there is a forget me not room. We went down a different route and not the normal entrance. We were greeted by a pleasant room with a double bed and a teddy on it from aching arms.
Then the midwife Jodie explained what would happen and that she would examine my wife and she broke her waters. We were then left on our own for a while.
I couldn’t sit still I was scouting around the room and came across a support pack from sands and a memory box. I then found a little book that had writing in it. It was other parents experience of giving born to a stillbirth and there was one page left in the book; for us. It wasn’t meant to be this way our little boy was fine and we had had no complications. We both couldn’t believe where we were. The hours that followed were excruciating. A particular point that sticks in my mind is when Jodie brought a book in that may help explain to our other son Harry what had happened. The title killed me: (we were going to have a baby but had an angel instead) inside and I was off again. The emotional pain came in waves. Sams contractions gradually increased and she became more dilated. All I could do was stand and watch. I was helpless she was going through unimaginable emotional pain and then had to deliver our unborn son. She was crying out for help and wanted to go home, usually I can help and sort out any problems she might have and be there for her. This time I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t say things were going to be ok as they weren’t. Jodie did an amazing job with us and we can’t thank her enough she made the most harrowing of experience that tiny bit better. Sam my wife gave birth at 642pm on the 29/04/2020 to our sleeping angel at 7lbs2oz Oliver Robert Arthur Coombs.
I wanted to hold our son but couldn’t handle it initially, the midwife took him to the room next door after I had cut the umbilical cord and cleaned him and wrapped him in a towel and blanket. There was a huge great knot in the cord and that could give us an explanation. The post mortem may confirm that in the coming months. I was inconsolable for around 10 minutes. Then I wanted him with us I couldn’t bear that thought of him being next door without his mum and dad. I held him and he was my beautiful little son Oliver he had the same button nose just like Harry. I tried to take as many photos as I could which was so hard but really glad I did. When I look at them now just a few days on it gives me a bit of comfort, he just looks like he’s sleeping. I also got my wife to hold him as she didn’t want to initially. Already she was so glad she had. Jodie shortly after said her goodbyes and Beth took over, they need a medal and a pay rise not a clap for what they do on a daily basis. Beth bathed Oliver and then I dressed him. It was a very hard thing to do but I’m so glad I did. We spent some further quality time with our son, holding him and snuggling him with his cuddly toys from his grandparents before we both felt ready to say goodbye. We felt we couldn’t leave with him still in the room so we decided to say goodbye first. I helped carry him to an empty delivery room, it just so happened it was the same room our first born son was delivered in. That gave me a little comfort. Several hours after around 1am we could leave and go home. The walk to the car empty handed dark cold and wet was harrowing. We sat in our car and just held each other and sobbed. Our new lives had just begun, and we were in a position no parent should have to be with the prospect of having to prepare a funeral for your own child and live on with that emptiness.
I will be running the Loch Ness Marathon in the running trainers I had on just before our lives changed forever. Thank you x
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Unfortunately the Loch Ness Marathon got cancelled today, it sadly coincided with the 2 month anniversary of Oliver being stillborn. The cancellation will not stop me from completing a marathon and the amount I have raised and reason I am running will be just as Poignant and meaningful. I am in the process of looking at alternative options. Thanks all for your generosity thus far I am just shy of £4,000 raised for SANDS.
It’s 2 months on since the worst day of my life and for those that have seen or heard from me or Sam since may not realise how raw the pain of losing our son still is. For we are trying to do the best we can in Oliver’s memory but some days are tougher than others. We aren’t ok and probably never will be again but we are learning to live on with the grief and with support of friends and family will become stronger as time goes on. We both miss him so much still and on days like this even more so. 🧸😢💔
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